Unanswered prayers

Do you ever feel like God does not answer your prayers?

Many times when Grayson was at Primary Children's Medical center, I would sit and wonder why God would not heal him and make him better. It was heart-wrenching to sit and watch him suffer and not be able to do anything.

It was by chance that Grayson had surgery the morning of April 25th. He was scheduled for May 5th, but I was in a hurry to get his insides put back where they belong! I would frequently call the surgeon's office and ask if they had any cancellations and if they could move the surgery date up. Finally the answer was yes. They got him in a week earlier than planned. That was great by me. I couldn't wait for him to poop like a big boy!
Well,Grayson ended up having a much rougher time than anyone had imagined. We planned on staying days and ended up there for weeks. I felt like I was constantly hearing that we beat the odds the wrong way. The doctors could not figure out what was going on. They seemed to have less guesses than I did. We were eventually moved back to the PICU when things got really bad. After the second surgery, the doctors thought that they had finally figured out the problems and had them fixed. Two days later, Grayson had a major cardiac arrest and almost lost his life. Again I was upset and wondered why God would not heal him after he had come so far. The doctors could not figure things out and HOPED Grayson would live. I often thought perhaps it was my fault things hadn't gone smoothly because time after time God may have been trying to tell me it wasn't quite time for surgery, and I continued to push. I guess I will probably never know the answer to that or a lot of other questions I have!!! BUT, somethings I know for sure. Grayson did end up making it through all of that big ordeal and is now doing much better, thank goodness!

It was by chance that the only surgeon the McBride family could find to fuse 2 year old Reagan's neck, practiced at Primary Children's Hospital, 1,500 miles from their home in Tuscumbia, Alabama. Reagan was scheduled to have surgery on April 28th, but when she saw the surgeon for her pre-operation appointment, he felt Reagan needed surgery ASAP because her life was in a lot of danger. She ended up having surgery that same afternoon on April 25th. Things did not go as well as everyone hoped. After surgery, sometime that night, the hardware used to hold Reagan's brittle neck together had completely fallen apart. Doctors informed Jeri Ann and Alan that Reagan would require another major surgery to try and put things back where they should be and to put a metal device on her tiny body that would hold her head completely straight and still. But that second life-sustaining surgery would have to wait because Reagan was very unstable. She was fighting for her life. The doctors assured Alan and Jeri Ann that they would do everything they could to save her life, but things looked grim. If that wasn't enough, then came the news and devastation that sometime during these 2 awful days, Reagan sustained a spinal cord injury and was now paralyzed from the neck down. I know that during this time, Alan questioned the decision they had made to have the initial surgery done and blamed himself that Reagan may not live. When Reagan got more stable she now needed a third surgery to place a tracheostomy in her neck so she could be on a ventilator permanently. Reagan did make it through her second and third surgeries, and things did improve little by little. Reagan stayed in the hospital until July 14th. She is now home and doing so much better. She has even regained some movement, mostly in her hands and feet.

Here is what I know for sure. Reagan and Grayson ended up in the same 2 bed room in the PICU after they had both had surgery April 25th. Our families met under tremendous stress and heartache. Grayson was moved in and out of the PICU where Reagan remained her entire stay at PCMC, and he did not really start to improve until Reagan had been med flighted to a hospital in Burmingham. When he would start to show some improvement, things would go 10 steps back and he would end up back in the PICU closer to Reagan. The McEvoy and McBride families spent quite possibly 18 hours out of a day together. The staff got to the point where I know they broke rules giving either family information on the other family's child. Many people think Jeri and Tiff look like sisters. We became very very close in a very short period of time. I guess you can we can all think what we want, but I know that I never would have made it through that month as well as I did without them.

As I look back at what I had thought to be unanswered prayers, I wonder if maybe God had another plan in mind to really bless me if things were going to be that bad. I don't know who could truly relate to me and my situation unless they themselves had almost lost a child and been through an even harder situation than we had been through. I guess what the song says is true "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" because I am not sure what I would do without our unanswered prayers,the McBrides!!! We love love y'all!!!